Why write music?

Why write songs? Today someone asked me why we’re doing this “music thing”. Why we’re writing songs and sharing them and raising money to record and share the story behind them through film. I’ve been pondering that today.

My first instinct is - why not? Does music or any creative act need justification or a “specified purpose?” My younger conservative Christian self would have probably answered “to glorify God” or something - maybe as an honest answer, or maybe as a cop-out seeking affirmation from my religious surroundings - “Good boy. Isn’t that wonderful.” And depending on your terms and definitions, that might still be an honest and true answer. But I’ll get back to that… My gut reaction now is something along the lines of - because this is who I am. This is what I do. I write songs. Almost anytime I have a strong emotional response to an event my instinct is to write a song to either capture that emotion or to fully enter into that emotion or experience. When I’m happy. When I’m sad. When I’m heartbroken. When my friends experience tragedy. I sing. Divorce. Miscarriage. Accident. Birth. Death. Depression. Elation. I create words and melody. Some happy songs. Many sad songs. Usually with hopeful linings, but honest. Most of these “songs” are only a line or 2. Or maybe a couple verses. It’s how I connect in private with my emotional response and enter into how others are feeling, how they view and experience the world. This happens naturally and mostly privately. Most of these songs are never shared publicly. Some develop into something that I feel needs to be shared. Because it’s an honest reflection of my human experience and I believe we need more honest exposure in our lives.

This is who I am. This is what I do. In my 2nd go at life, I’m trying very hard to pay attention to who I am and what I feel led to do (I’d say “called” but that’s a loaded trigger word 😜). I guess I don’t know for sure, but perhaps you can help me out. Is this normal? Does everyone else also have a strong impulse to write and sing songs privately when they hear certain news; see their friends devastated; or their child filled with pride? Do they sing a few lyrics with a melody in the car and in their head for several days and weeks as a mantra to remember a thought, an experience, or a person - as some odd unexplainable attempt to connect with that person or with oneself? Do the lyrics and melody burrow themselves in your brain, popping up unexpectedly years later? Reminding yourself, your family, your community about reality, priorities, truth? Perhaps this happens to everyone. But I think to some degree, this experience is unique to me. So I pay attention to it. This is who I am. This is what I do.

I’m an odd duck. I don’t fit in. I never really have, and probably never really will. I never identified as an athlete. As a musician. As an artist. As a designer. As a pastor. As a coach. As a businessman. I can’t pick one. I am parts of all these things. For most of my life, I’ve regretted not fitting the mold of one thing. Now I’m trying to embrace my diversity. I’m weird and wonderful! And so are you! What things make you come alive? Do those things!

When I stand on the shore of a body of water and see land off in the distance I have a longing to swim across. So I do! This is who I am. This is what I do. When I see a 12-year-old boy holding hands with his dad while they cross the street and I feel a deep emotion and desire to share a connection with my own son for his whole life, I have an impulse to write a song - so I do. Would you like to hear it? I love it. It is beautiful to me. I wrote it for my 10-year-old son. And for my 34-year-old son. And for my 38-year-old self and my 65-year-old self. I also wrote it for you. What I felt was deep, and important, and true. And I want you to feel that too. So I’m going to chisel that song out of my head, out of the car and shower and turn it into something you can hear and see. If you have your own songs that emerge from a deep place inside you when you experience joy or pain - that’s amazing. Cherish them. If you don’t, you can borrow mine. They help me make sense of the world, and I hope they help you connect with yourself and others as well.

This is not to say that every song I write is deep and profound. I just wrote a silly love song for Necia that is playful and includes an octopus and a squid. But, generally speaking, I write songs differently these days. I mostly write these songs for my kids. I am creating a songbook that they can carry with them for their whole lives - being reminded that I love them no matter what, even on their shittiest days. When they’re 4 and anxious and when they’re 40 and feeling hopeless. Reminding them that I love their mom, and that love is complicated, sometimes hard, and worth fighting for. That it’s important to find a partner they can dream with and change with. Reminding them (and myself) that it’s normal to feel lost and lonely sometimes and to keep going, knowing they’re not alone. These songs are for my kids. And for me. And if your Dad didn’t leave you a songbook to carry with you through life they’re for you too. And I actually mean that. We’re all connected. I want my kids to know and feel they are loved and valued and unique and important. And I want you to feel that too. Because it’s true.

So yes, we have a Kickstarter set up to help fund the creation of more songs and videos, but it’s not really a fundraiser - we’re mostly searching for Our Tribe. This, like most things in my life, is an experiment. I know that these songs and this project are valuable to me and I’m curious if others find value here as well. If so, I’m going to work really hard to move the songs from my head and into a song and video that others can access and experience. If not, I’ll keep many of these songs private and share them with my family.

If you’d like to join us on this journey and help us create a songbook that you can carry with you as you travel through life and share with your family, we’d love for you to join Our Tribe. That’s what this “music thing” is about.

So far we’ve raised enough to record 2 songs and I’m really excited to share them with you all. We’ll be celebrating the release of the first song and video “Prodigal Daughter” with Our Tribe this Sunday night at the Park Theatre. The video will help tell the story more fully, but for now, here is a snapshot.

This song started as a simple melody and 8 words attempting to reach across the globe to my sister. She was alone. In Kenya. In a hospital. For 2 weeks. Separated from her husband and 4 boys. With an unknown heart condition. Afraid. I was so sad that I couldn’t be with her. That she had to face the whole thing by herself. Some people pray. I sing. I was trying to reach across the ocean. Find a connection. Deliver a message. Remind her that she wasn’t alone. “You’re not alone by a long shot!” We’re here. Reaching for you. I was alone in my house. Singing those 8 words throughout the day. For days. For weeks. And now I get to actually share the song with her. With you. Add it to your songbook if you’d like. Carry it around. I hope it serves you well.